Today I tried something new. Instead of tracing my face to help ground me and my thoughts, I decided to only focus on my ear. I followed the curves, creases, and folds of my ear with one hand, while my other hand mimicked the movements onto the wall. This had a weird effect on the rest of my studio session that night. I was more focussed on what I could hear, like my attention had switched from blurred/distorted vision and seeing faces, to hearing the grind of pencil on paper

In recent weeks I have been feeling trapped, even in my studio which I go to to feel more free and safe in myself. My mind has been blurred and confused. I have been going on more bike rides to help combat these feelings and in doing so I have been able to reminisce on the times when I was at my most open and carefree self. On my bike rides I have been returning to the old graffiti walls where a number of people would meet up in the dead of night just to paint, hangout, liste

After feeling more settled with my first layer of my current BOW, I felt it was time to move on. There's no need to linger on something for too long otherwise things can get complecated. I made my first split of the pages to gain back a little bit of control, but decided to experiment by handing some control to someone else. After splitting all the pages in half, I wanted to remove my own bias of rehanging them on the wall as I transition into the next layer. I shuffled all t

I could finally work on my first layer of my drawing after a number of back to back hiccups. I decided to use this refercence photo of me in my home office. I was drawn to the shape created by the paintbrushes and my hand, the florals of my tattoo on my arm, the softness of my hair and skin, and the tired look in my eye paired with the smirk of my mouth. I decided to shuffle the pages round a little bit while still working on my first layer. I want to use the pages as a noteb

Is it fair for me to say that sometimes I feel stupid? And no I don't mean that to be a harsh way of thinking about myself. I mean that as a way of acknowledging that I don't understand even the simplest of things. I like research, and I like to do things to understand as much as can. I analyse things in detail. Look at the deeper meaning of things, but no matter how much I analyse, research or think, I can only ever understand the surface level of things. I can quite easily