Drawing

I feel like this is important for me to share considering the ideas I have surrounding this BOW. My brain is different from the average person. When listening to music the volume has to be set to a very specific system otherwise I feel uncomfortable. 3, 5, 8, 10, 13, 15, 18, 20, and so on. In the morning I NEED to follow a set routine otherwise the day is ruined. After a shower, I have to do exactly 10 little stomps (5 with each foot) to get the excess water off because otherwise the towel gets too wet and it doesn't feel right.

Black and white thinking is one of the bigger things that I struggle with. There is no middle ground with anything. If someone asks how my day went I can't simply describe it. It was not good, relaxed, exciting. It was not bad, hectic, boring. I do not feel happy, nor do I feel sad. Instead those two simple and normal feelings do not exist.

Instead of simply feeling happy, I feel euphoric. On top of the world.

Instead of simply feeling sad, I feel like the world is ending. What's the point.

There was a hiccup when starting this BOW. The black and white thinking took over.

I got prepared, taping my pages to my studio wall. Health got in the way so I returned to the studio 2 days later. My pages were on the floor. They are now bent and dirty. They are damaged. My day is ruined. I need to start again.

I got prepared, taping my pages to my studio wall. I started drawing. The chalk pastel didn't feel right. My day is ruined. I need to start again.

I got prepared, taping my pages to my studio wall. I started drawing. This time I tried alcohol marker. That marker ran out. My day is ruined. I need to start again.

I got prepared, taping my pages to my studio wall. I started drawing. This time I with a paint pen. The colour doesn't feel right. Something feel wrong. My day is ruined. I need to start again.

Oh and there was a wifi outage across Tauranga city center, and when it was rebooted there were issues with the blog software. Yay.

My frustrations felt like the world around me was caving in, and I can understand why others may see me as being silly or overly frustrated. My pen ran out of ink. Cool. No need to crash-out. But this is why I love my work. I know that I will always get my work completed. I know that by resetting I can always go back to the previous. And I know that what may seem like wasted pages will always resurface into future works, or even better I can use them to make my own custom paper.

In these times I still see things. The patterns emerging. Shapes forming. More inspiration and more references that I can use in my work. I can redraw what others may see as mistakes.